Friday 13th!
This is the post without any pictures because it’s all about the people on the boat, and I have no wish to be taken to court. Actually, I will eventually put some in, of the ship’s interior. But no people. And certainly not the man with three teeth.
First there’s the Ozbus lot – a great bunch who in varying degrees love the cruise or are bored rigid after 8 days…Some are throwing themselves wholeheartedly into every activity, others, like me, are hiding a bit and making the most of the space available on this ship before living at close quarters again for the remainder of the journey from Anchorage to New York. And we will be at close quarters when we sleep shoulder to shoulder on the Green Tortoise bus.
Then the passengers, average age 64 apparently, but I feel immeasurably younger than most on board. The younger Ozbussers on our trip are indeed the youngest on board, apart from sightings of about four children (I’ve seen two). It’s no doubt a lovely life for those retirees who have the funds, just going from cruise to cruise. Someone uncharitably motioned towards all the blanketed forms lying on loungers by the pool and uttered the words ‘floating retirement home’. But as these elderly people make up the bulk of the passengers, and it’s not school holiday time, the entertainment on board is geared accordingly and as a result not really catering for the younger (in age and at heart) passengers. Mind you, on formal nights, they do scrub up well: the long skirts/dresses, the red cummerbunds and bow ties, the flashing jewels – and that was just the man with the diamond (?) encrusted belt. The photographers have a field day, posing people at the foot of the stairs: ‘Madam, place your hand on your husband’s heart and look into his eyes’, and then charging them a fortune next day when they are all displayed in the photo gallery. I should mention at this point that I shared a lift one evening with two couples and a single man. They were sparkling, groomed to perfection and sweetly perfumed. I was in my black and turquoise bathing suit, modestly semi-covered by Victoria’s borrowed pink and yellow sarong and wearing flip-flops. I commented on being underdressed and how lucky they were I wasn’t on my way back from the hot tub, sopping wet and smelling of chlorine.
And finally the crew, divided into 3 groups: the front of house waiters etc. and our lovely cabin steward Luis; the captain and his Mates who are driving the ship and exist only through the loudspeakers; the entertainment crew who are driven by the Hi-de-hi culture that used to be the preserve of Butlins and the like.
So where do I put myself? Well, I’m not in love with cruising as such. I think it’s by far the best, most comfortable and pleasant way to get from Beijing to Anchorage (failing an outright invitation to get on a motorbike with Charlie Boorman). As my good friend Linda says: ‘As a holiday destination it sucks.’ Having said that, I am not bored. I read my Kindle – currently the John Locke novels about Donovan Creed, an assassin who has me longing to change career and counteract all the good I have done in the world up to now; I have a coffee package which entitles me to 15 REAL coffees as well as free house coffee (filter) and hot chocolate whenever I want – and there’s a nice coffee lounge to relax in; 
I can plug in my laptop almost anywhere – especially in the Skywalker Nightclub which tends to be sadly attended by the younger Ozbus crowd, vainly looking for new young people to drink and dance with. Sadly none forthcoming. With like-minded friends I have played two games from the library collection; I have been in the swimming pool and the hot tub – the latter even on a foggy, windy day when my shoes nearly blew away; I have walked round deck 16 several times but round deck 7 not quite. I will accomplish that before the end of the trip – following literally in Pat C’s footsteps!
I have used the launderette twice; I have attended ‘Enrichment Lectures’ on volcanoes, the people of Japan and the people of Russia. I have had some lovely food. And drink, including the alcohol-free cocktails. I have also watched an outdoor movie from a poolside lounger, swaddled in three blankets and still frozen stiff as the Arctic breezes gently howled across the deck.
And now the things that haven’t thrilled me…
Karaoke: apart from our valiant Andy who sang a Coldplay song – ‘Shiver – all the rest were quivery-quaky renditions of ‘Que sera, sera’ by a Doris Day look-alike (more of her later), ‘Love is a many splendoured thing’, also quivery-quaky by an octogenarian and sweetly dedicated to his wife, who sang something oddly off-key back at him in return. There were about three more in the same vein then they all had a second go, except Andy as time ran out.
Blankety-Blank: this followed on from the Karaoke and curiosity kept me in my seat. It was dire, never to be repeated. Enough said.
Trivia Quiz: not too bad, could have been more enjoyable if we hadn’t been exhorted to forever put up our hands if we were enjoying it…or not enjoying it. And if the quizmistress hadn’t insisted on spelling words like ‘beer’, ‘cider’ and ‘coke’. And if she had done a little less hi-de-hi stuff and cajoling of us oldies.
Among the other stuff I haven’t tried yet – Bingo, casino, anti-aging skin-care seminar (too late surely?), LGBT Get-together, tap-dancing sessions. And the enrichment lectures given by someone who worked in the space industry and who in his golden years gets a free cruise for himself and his wife (look-alike Doris Day) by lecturing every other day and answering questions from the audience, translated into American by the said Doris Day.
But there’s still a week to go!
Patamateria 